


Love is Trust and Knowledge

by Khorevis



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: 19 years-old characters, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Complete Heartbreak, F/M, Heartbreak, light self-harm, very much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-16 02:06:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13626303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khorevis/pseuds/Khorevis
Summary: «Listen, you said you wanted to help me», she said hurriedly. «The problem is that I've got a... a huge crush on a boy and I need your advice».His world didn't crumble. It withered. Slowly, his eternal glee wilted, and he could feel the air becoming heavier and no longer sweet and fresh. But he kept all of this for himself. Instead, he put on his best smile and knelt beside her.She didn't mean to kill him. But that is what she did. She killed himinside, and now she has to heal him.





	Love is Trust and Knowledge

**Author's Note:**

> Here Marinette/Ladybug acts, at first, in an extremely selfish and childish way. I apologize if this bothers someone, but I had this idea and I simply couldn't let it slip away.  
> I edit this because the Text Body HTML was faulty and, re-reading it, I noticed a few errors.  
> Also, the guest GregorySpoon asked me to change a particular at the end, and since I agree with him (but yesterday I was too tired to write any more) I did it now.  
> Hope you enjoy.

«Hey Chat»,  she tiredly greeted him.

« Hey, My Lady »,  he greeted back. «Stunningly beautiful as usual, I see».

«Not now, Chat, not now», she said in a voice she knew was damn close to a whine. «I've had a day».

« Bad and long day at school? »,  he asked, not even hinting at beginning their scheduled patrol. «Too  _meow_ ch homework? You know, you can always ask me. This cat knows quite something about homework».

«Pffft», she scoffed, tired but amused. «Yeah, sure. Easy easy question: which is Einstein's equation of special relativity?».

« _E_ equals to  _m c_ squared », flatly replied Chat, as if answering the world's easiest question. «Where  _E_ is the kinetic energy,  _m_ is the relativistic mass of the body to which said energy belongs, and  _c_ is the speed of light, squared in this equation. With this equation, Einstein proved that matter and energy are two forms of the same thing, and can transform from one to the other, like it happens in a nuclear fission whe re the nucleus are fractured and turned into energy».

She stared at him for the longest time before finally opening her mouth to answer... and promptly closing it.

«What? I go to school too, you know?», pouted Chat, half-offended. «How do you think I spend my time? Practising parkour? Or playing the guitar?».

«Wow, there is no need to be snappy», replied Ladybug, yet the surprise still hadn't left her face. «It's just that.. you didn't hit me as a model student».

«And why would I  _not_ be?», grumbled Chat, then he shook his head. «Never mind, it's not important. Wanna talk about it?».

«About what?».

«Your bad day. I've heard that talking about it can help». He sat beside her. «You don't  _have_ to tell me, nor you have to tell me the details, but if you want...». He let the offer hang in the air between them for a second before turning to watch Paris.

«I... guess the school's part of it», she admitted. «For several reasons».

«A bad grade?», inquired Chat. «Undone homework?».

«Nah. I usually do everything. It's just that...». She tore her gaze away from him. «Sometimes I'm late. Always, actually».

«Oh, I would never have imagined you were a deep sleeper. Dreaming about me, My Lady?». He rephrased under her glare. «Well, that's not as bad as you think. You should let it get you so easily. If Akumas can't beat you, how could a scolding from a prof do it?».

«It's not just that, Chat». She sighed. «It's every day. Every day I arrive late. It's... embarrassing».

«Wake up earlier».

«I try!», she snapped, irritated. «I try every day! Not even my Kwami can wake me up in time. And when she can,  _something_ always happens and I'm late once again!».

«Looks like I'm not the only one to have got some misfortune», he noted, arching a perfect eyebrow. «However, from what you are saying, it seems like you simply  _can't_ wake up earlier».

«Seems so», she agreed, glaring at the sky.

«Well... if you  _can't_ , you shouldn't be berating yourself like that. Buuuut I guess this is not the only thing that went wrong today». He winked. «You said that you're late every day, but yesterday you weren't this grumpy».

«I'm not grumpy!», she exclaimed, then noted his smirk and snorted. «Fine! Maybe I am a bit grumpy today because it was a hellish day».

«Care to bear your heart out to me so for me to take away the burden that is weighing you down?», sang Chat. «No, seriously though, if you need to talk to someone with a different point of view hey, I'm here».

She gave him a little grateful smile. «Thank you, Chat».

«Everything for my Lady».

«I... guess it wasn't just being late», she continued her story, and his feline ears perked up in attention. « I mean,  _that_ happens all the time. Well, actually C- _she_ happens everyday too ».

« She? ».

« _She_ is a nuisance »,  sighed Ladybug. « _She_ seems to have made picking on me her life goal».

«Who would be so stupid to pick on you?», smirked Chat. «When you can pick  _them_ up and throw them out of the window? Oh, when the prof isn't looking, of course».

The mental image of Chloe hurled out of the window cheered her up a little bit, and she chuckled slightly. «Yeah, and be expelled for hurting another student».

«So, if  _she_ happens every time too, there must be something else. What is it?».

«Observant little kitty, eh?», she noted, playfully scowling at him.

«When it comes to you, my Lady, I'm always observant», he grinned and bowed. «Always».

«Oh, shush», she chuckled again. Chat could do that to her: get her irritated and amused at the same time.

«Everything  _fur_ you», he bowed again.

«Stop it!».

«Okay», he sobered up and sat again. «Go on».

«I... well... yeah, there  _is_ actually some homework I still have to do, but it's not much», she said. «It's... a bit boring».

«But it's not what is bothering you», he noted.

She glanced sharply at him, witty comeback ready, but it died on her lips when she saw his eyes. Not that she had never seen Chat serious, she had, but she still wasn't used to that particular expression that made his eyes dim to a lifeless green.

« ...no »,  she finally said.

«And you're not ready yet to tell me».

«...no».

«You need some time».

«...yes».

«What are we waiting, then? Patrol is waiting  _fur_ us, my Lady», he said, and jumped away on the next rooftop.

  


«Chat is so very nice to offer, but it's not like I can tell him of Adrien», sighed Marinette, finally crashing into her bed after the patrol.

«Well, until now you've done a great job handling your crush».

«A great job?», groaned Marinette. «If with great job you mean letting the whole world  _except_ him know I've got a crush on him, and messing up every time I try to speak to him then yes, I've done a great job».

«But you are handling this. You even sent him a Saint Valentine letter!», argued Tikki.

«He barely knows I exist! And I simply can't say a word to him without messing up!», she groaned again. «If  _only_ Chat could help me».

«Marinette...».

«Wait!». She sat up suddenly, almost banging heads with the diminutive goddess. «He  _can_ help me!».

«Marinette...».

«I mean, he  _is_ a boy»,  reasoned the bluenette. «And I don't  _have_ to tell him Adrien's name!».

«Marinette, listen...».

«He could give me some advice... like on what to wear or what to say... to get Adrien's attention!», she exclaimed triumphantly. «Yes, Adrien and Chat are different, but hell I won't let any chance slip away from me!».

«Marinette, he...».

«He offered me help, Tikki, it's not like it can do any wrong», she noted. «It can only do good».

«Marinette, Chat  _loves_ you!», remarked the tiny goddess.

«I know, that is why he will help me!».

«No, he is  _in love_ with you! Don't you understand? How would you feel if Adrien came to you and asked you for advice on girls?».

«Terrible», muttered Marinette, then brightened. «But Chat's is only idolization. He barely knows me! Knowing that I already like a boy could help him get over his... infatuation!».

For a second, Tikki looked like she was going to reply, but then the second was gone and she just sighed. Certain things could only be understood with personal experience, and as much as she could care for Chat, Marinette was her Chosen, and her happiness was  too  important for her.

So the tiny Kwami just watched as the girl changed into her pyjama  and went to bed.

«He knows you more than you think», she finally sighed.

  


«Lovely evening, my Lady», greeted her Chat. «Almost as lovely as you are».

«Oh, stop it, stupid cat».

«At  once , milady», he bowed exaggeratedly.

«Shut up, we have to talk», she said, sitting down on the tiles of the roof.  The bakery was right in front of her .  It was cold, and if she had to talk, at least when she was finished it wouldn't have taken her a n hour to get there.

While it's believed that "we have to talk" are the four scariest words a woman can say to a man, in many cases it's not true. Unless the man has done something he shouldn't have done, or a breakup is implied, or something bad has happened, most men are instead  _happy_ when they can talk. The problem is that people tends to use that sentence only when there is something wrong.

Chat was elated by his Lady's words.

His happiness did not last much.

«Listen, you said you wanted to help me», she said hurriedly. «The problem is that I've got a... a  _huge_ crush on a boy and I need your advice».

His world didn't crumble. It withered. Slowly, his eternal glee wilted, and he could  _feel_ the air becoming heavier and no longer sweet and fresh. But he kept all of this for himself. Instead, he put on his best smile and knelt beside her.

«And... why do you need advice?»,  he  asked with a lopsided grin, even if inside he felt like dying. «I mean, just go, grab him by the neck and kiss his soul off him» .

«It's not that easy... I don't know if he likes me back. Surely he doesn't act like it».

«Ehm... is he blind, deaf and dumb?», Chat asked again, this time with a sincere perplexed frown. «Why would he  _not_ love you?».

«He... I don't exactly talked with him about this», she admitted. «I... may have never tried to show him my feelings».

«Are you sure he is  _the one_ ?».

«Of course!», snapped Ladybug, but stopped as soon as she saw the desolated  _death_ in Chat's distant eyes. It must have been a trick of the light, she  decided , because when he spoke again he was merry.

«Well, talk to him then! Or... yeah, ask him out! If you don't feel like doing it alone you can also ask your friends to come with you!». He grinned again. «And if he refuses... well, I  _do_ have Cataclysm...».

«Chat!».

«Just joking!», he laughed. « Just asking him out should be enough, you know. It's not like I have a lot of experience, but I think that is what you should do ».

« Just... just that? ».

« Just that »,  he nodded. His eyes, however, looked lifeless. Again, it must have been the shadows, because he then smiled and squeezed her shoulder. «Love is about reciprocal knowledge and trust. Not about beauty -even if that can help- or clothes. Your crush can develop into love, or fade. If you really think he is  _the one_ , don't let him fade away. Hold on for dear life, find reasons to love him, and let him see who you really are. Love can't come without knowledge. Sometimes, a single word or gesture can tell so much. You must be really observant of every he does and says».

«Just that?».

«Just? Oh God, Ladybug, you said you need help, but you're really hopeless!», he laughed, but it seemed so very off. «This is not something simple.  Before loving him, you have to trust him. With everything. Even more than you trust  _me_ ».

« Do you mean... ».

« Your identity? Yes ».  At her glare, he just shrugged. «Love is also another thing. Friendship is honesty. Love is  _transparency_ . You can't hide this from him, because this is part of  _who_ you  _are_ . He must fall in love for both your identities. Like one of my friends always says "he must be ready to take the whole package"».

_'Nino says so, too'_ .

«But this would put him in danger!», argued Ladybug.

«Sometimes, being in danger hurts less than knowing that your beloved one is lying to you and hiding something from you». He gave her the strangest look. «If you don't know  _this_ , then you know nothing about love. Do you think it wouldn't hurt, if you knew that he's been keeping secrets -big secrets- from you?».

She frowned. «I would ask him. He would tell me», she said finally.

Something broke in Chat. He straightened and stood, tall and dark against the sunset. «This is what never worked between us», he said, his tone so empty and grey and _hurt_. «And probably never will».

Without another word, he jumped away,  disappearing in the night.

«"This is what never worked between us"?», repeated Ladybug, jumping on her balcony and climbing down in her room before calling off the transformation. «What is that supposed to mean?».

Tikki, now free from the earrings, looked at her for the longest time. Marinette stared back, puzzled by the severity on her Kwami's face. Tikki didn't speak. She just looked at her, slowly increasing her uneasiness, but didn't say a word. Her silence was the nearest thing to disappointment Marinette had ever heard from her. Every other day, Tikki had always something to say, to comfort or help her.

Today, she just stared sternly at her, before slowly flying to the bed and landing on the pillow.

«Go to sleep, Marinette», she said, her voice completely not supportive. «Today is Saturday. If you want to ask Adrien out on Monday, you'll have to sleep».

Marinette was petrified. Her Kwami had never ever ever _ever_ spoken to her like that. It wasn't just _abnormal_. It  was unheard of. It was alien.

  


A bit more than half an hour later, she was distracted by her sketches by a soft  _thump_ from her roof. She waited for any more sounds, but it seemed that the distraction had passed. However, before she could return to writing, she caught a movement with the corner of her eye. A tall figure darker than the winter night had landed on the roof in front of hers.

Chat Noir.

She immediately got up, wondering what the Hell was he doing out there, probably freezing to death, on the same roof where they had been just forty minutes before, with a case underarm. Puzzled, she walked to her window to see what was going on.

After setting down the case, the feline superhero sat on the same spot where he had been just half an hour before. He brought a hand up to fidget with his bell, before slowly dragging it down, exposing his -toned- chest and stomach to the bitter cold. He took a second to breathe deeply the icy air, shivering in the winter night breeze.

Marinette was taken aback by such a stupid act for a second before beginning messing with her window to open it. It seemed unwilling to let her, though, because she almost broke the handle before finally bursting it open.

«Chat! What are you  _doing_ out there!?», she called, but he seemed not to care. His eyes were lost in things only he could see.

Slowly, he opened the case -where did he found it, she didn't know-, just as slowly taking a long, sharp dirk -a Scottish traditional knife- out of it. Marinette paused, her mind temporarily going completely  _numb_ . It remained numb when he turned the dagger twice in his hand, it remained numb when he flipped it twice to test its balance. It remained numb when he brought it up to his chest.

He pressed the point just under his  right  clavicle, applying obvious pressure to the spot. After the razor sharp point had pierced the skin and the flesh underneath, he began moving it  _agonizingly slowly_ down his chest.  The only sign that he was indeed feeling the pain was a slight crease on his forehead, and the furrowing of his eyebrows. He dragged it down to across his chest and stomach to his left hip. Behind the blade, a trail of blood began spilling from the cut. It was deep  enough to release a thin trail of the crimson fluid .

Her mind jumped from numb into hyper drive.

«CHAT!!», she screamed, desperately searching for something -anything- to make him stop. Her eyes fell on her Kwami, who was looking at out of the window with an expression halfway between angry and horrified.

The scream seemed to have been enough to rouse him from his thoughts. He looked up, not even lessening the pressure on the hilt of the dirk, and his pupils went wide like never before. In a flash, he stuffed the knife back in its case, zipped up the suit in one swift movement, picked up the case and prepared to jump away from her.

He didn't go far.

«CHA-AAAAHHH!!!». Her call turned into a scream as she leaned too much out of the window and lost her balance -as usual when she was Marinette-, her arms flailing wildly as she fell forwards, closing her eyes and preparing for the hit. She knew she would have survived the fall. After having seen Chat  _harming_ himself, she could survive Hawk Moth himself. The question was: had she really survived seeing her Chaton so utterly devastated? She remembered his eyes just forty minutes before. It hadn't been a trick of the light. And then, just as she began to fall, she stopped.

Chat was firmly holding her by the waist with an arm, actioning his staff with the other.

With a single jump, he brought them both on her balcony, releasing her and turning to leave.  _'Not again'_ , thought Marinette, desperate, grabbing his arm. He half-turned, their gazes locking for a second. And then, just like that, Marinette went limp.

They weren't Chat's eyes any more. They were barely green, surely not of the lively shade of green they usually were. Now they were almost grey, filled to the point of spilling with painful desperation. And it really spilled out of them, reaching Marinette and filling her too. She felt something inside her snap. She couldn't see him in that status. She just couldn't. It was... against her nature, against her _soul_ , to let him be so utterly shattered.

« Chat... »,  she tried to say, but what exited was barely a wail. She gulped and tried again.  « Chat... what happened? ».

« Nothing unexpected ».  He didn't even bother to smile. He didn't even bother to  _change_ his expression at all. And that was extremely unusual for him. He always tried to pretend to be fine, but at least he tried. But this time it seemed like he wasn't even trying to convince her he was fine, but just to leave him alone.

« Chat, what happened? »,  she asked again, her grip on his arm tightening.  « Wh-what were you doing with... with...  _that thing?_ ».

« Something new »,  he shrugged, and tried to pull his arm free, but she held her ground and he didn't pull too hard.  « Nothing for you to worry about ».

« Chat what happened? »,  she repeated for the third time.  « Chat, you're never like this. Something  _has_ happened, something  _huge_ ! Please, Chat,  _please_ , tell me what happened ».

For an entire minute, he just stared at her. His eyes never change, not even the faintest spark of life came to brighten the up. When he finally spoke,  his voice came out just like forty minutes before, when he had left her confused and worried on the nearby rooftop.  « There is nothing you can do about it, and  if I know you it won't be a nice story  for you to hear. I suggest you to just let me go and go to sleep ».

« Sleep while you cut yourself to death!? »,  exclaimed Marinette, her grip as strong as always.  « No ».

« I'm not going to die, Marinette ».  She almost flinched. He hadn't called her "Princess".  « I still have many things to do ».

« Chat, tell me what is wrong »,  she begged one more time.  « Please ».

He looked at her, straight in her eyes, and something in his face changed. A very brief flash of pain crossed his features.  _'Ladybug is the problem'_ , her subconscious said.  _'And_ _I_ _remind him of Ladybug'_ . But then the moment had passed, and they were staring at each other again.

« You should go inside. I have my suit, but you must be freezing »,  he tried one last time.

Marinette exploded.  « Damnit, Chat! I don't give a damn about the cold! What the hell has happened to  _kill_ you!? ».

He stared at her, his expression empty again.  « Ladybug »,  he simply said.

It was enough to drain the colour from her cheeks, making her eyes go wide and leaving her mouth half-parted in surprise. And it was a very bad kind of surprise. It was the kind of surprise you get when at Christmas, instead of  being  given a gift, you're told your mother died. In her mind flashed the thought that Chat had never mentioned his mum. Never.  « D-do y-y-you w-wa-nt t-to t-talk a-a-about i-it? ».

« No »,  he replied, drained.  « But I guess you won't let me go and go inside until I will tell you ».  His gaze wandered on the roofs of Paris, not really seeing them.

« I love Ladybug. I love her now, I have loved her in the past and I will love her in the future »,  he began. And for her heart, it was already a very bad start.  « When we first met, it was infatuation. She was beautiful, and smart, and skilled, and so amazing ».  He clenched his jaw for a second before speaking again.

« Then I began seeing her for who she really was. She had her flaws. She wasn't perfect. Learning of her flaws was even better than learning of how good she was. It made her more achievable, removing her from the firmament and placing her within reach... or so I thought ».  His voice had lost the dullness from before, turning into a bittersweet laugh so heartbroken that she felt something snap inside her... again.  She wondered how many times she could snap before breaking for real.  « I tried, I tried desperately, to get her to notice me. I tried  _so_ hard. I guess partly it was my inexperience. I've never had a girlfriend, I didn't know how to make her notice me. I tried for so much time... ».

« Tonight, after patrol, we talked. She wanted to ask my advice on... on... on boys. She had a crush on someone ».  He finished the sentence with a real struggle before gulping dryly and continuing.  « For a second, I felt horrible. I... I thought it would have been like falling apart, but it wasn't... I was frozen. I was frozen in the last moment in which I had any hope.  I couldn't go any further without that hope . It... it... it was so cold... ».  His voice was on the verge of breaking.

Silently, lowering her head so for him not to see, Marinette began to cry.

« But I still loved her. I couldn't help it. And so I did what was necessary. I tried to help her get her happiness »,  he said, his gaze fixed on the fateful roof.  « It was important. Too important. Her happiness has always been more important to me than mine, but in that moment... after  _my_ happiness had been so utterly devastated... I  _had_ to ensure hers ».

_'_ _Please, oh Gods please someone kill me!'_ , she begged in her head.  _'What have I DONE?!'_ .

« She... she didn't seem to know much about this boy. It... it seemed just a crush... but when I asked her if she thought he was  _the one_ , she said he was ».  He clenched his hands. Only then she realized that he hadn't opened his left hand yet.  « He was. I didn't have a chance. I never had. It is so clear now... And so I let her go ».

He looked at her, but her gaze was glued to the floor, tears blurring her vision.  « After all this time... I tried to let her go. I tried... I tried  _so_ hard... but then... then... ».  He drew a sharp breath, as if on the verge of tears.  « Then she said... she said... that she wasn't... wasn't afraid of secret because... because... because  _he would tell her!_ »,  he finished with an escaped sob. She took several deep breathes, but nothing could calm him down.

« After everything... everything... I... I was ready to tell her everything from the start... from the start! »,  he wailed, shutting his eyes to prevent his tears from falling.  « But before I could speak, I ran. Like a coward. I ran and ran and ran until I was out of breath, and then I continued to run until I couldn't keep myself up any more. I fled like a coward! ».

She couldn't see him like that. If there was something worse than knowing that someone you loved was lying to you, it was seeing someone you loved hurt.

_"If you don't know this, then you know nothing about love"_ .

« C-Chat... why d-didn't you t-tell her? »,  she asked, raising her head to look at him.

« I... ».  He glanced away.  « I didn't want  _this_ . I didn't want to screw up like I just did. I didn't want it to hurt.  I prepared everything, right to the last detail... I was going... I was going... I was... I... ».  He couldn't finish, a sob shaking his whole thin frame and escaping from his lips.

« I was going to propose in a few days ».

Her heart stopped. It broke. It  _shattered_ .

Like a leaked dam, Chat began to talk.  « I would have done it at the Eiffel Tower. I had prepared a short speech for her. I bought some roses, both red and black, to match us. I bought the  _rings_ ».  The last word seemed far heavier than the others. He showed his left hand and opened it. On his palm there were two beautiful rings. One was black with blue shades, the other of a fierce red. Both had small rainbow coloured stones  on all their circumferences.

« This one symbolized me. The black opal is a powerful good luck charm, but it also makes you face your dark side. It symbolize d me perfectly, as I am the wielder of Destruction. The small stones are noble opals. It's a powerful healing stone, but its importance here  is that  it  is a powerful stone of love ».  Chat was right away  _trembling_ now.  « The red one is fire opal. It is used to balance the seven centres of energy of the spirit, and so it symbolize balance. The balance between me and her. And again, the stones of love ».

He looked at his hand, shutting his eyes again.  « She would have worn the black ring and I would have taken the red one. So each of us would always have had the other with him, no matter the distance or the difficulties ».

Marinette was staring at him, breathless.

« I guess I was wrong »,  he finally breathed, his voice so heartbroken and heartbreaking to shoot directly to her heart, shaking it.

Slowly, agonizingly slowly, he turned his hand, letting the rings fall from the balcony into the street where they would be forgotten, or maybe picked up by some child who would at least find some happiness in them. At the same time, a single tear appeared in his eyes.

« She was the one for me. She was the  _only_ one »,  he whispered hoarsely.  « As my civilian self, I can't just marry someone. My father will probably decide for me. She was the only one I would have fought for ».  His voice was now hollow.

He had told his story.

Without a sound, he pulled his arm free from her slack grasp and jumped away  with the expression of someone who was leaving his heart behind. And, from a certain point of view, he was.

She just stared at him for a second before he disappeared. Her mind was still trying to wrap everything up, but there was only one thing to do.

« What have I  _done!?_ »,  she screamed, fresh tears pooling up in her eyes.

« Tikki, come here  _immediately!_ »,  she ordered, her voice harsh. The innocent Kwami shot out of the hatch in a second.  « Tikki, Spots On! Now! ».

With a flash of light, she was Ladybug. She was the one who broke Chat's heart into so many pieces. She was the one who would put it back together. She was  _the one_ .

Looking down to the street, her gaze became fierce. She would get her ring back.

  


He found him at the Eiffel Tower. It seemed that he was just as melodramatic as he was romantic. But there was nothing romantic in the three long cuts that adorned his front.

« Chat! »,  she called, landing beside him the second after. He zipped up his suit again and tried to leap away, but he hadn't calculated the fact that Ladybug would simply  _crash directly into him_ .

With a strangled yelp, he tried to squirm free, but Ladybug simply wasn't done with him.

« _Chaton_ , please,  _please_ , let me explain! »,  she begged from over him. Being  pinned down, he could do nothing but nod with a dry lump in his throat.  « I was wrong, I so so  _so_ wrong, I was wrong and I'm  _so_ sorry. I could apologize for the rest of my life and it still wouldn't be enough ».

« Ladybug... ».  God, she had never thought how much she would hate her name coming from his lips. She was his Lady for him, not Ladybug. But yet again, she couldn't expect him to throw himself at her feet, not after what she'd done out of pure ignorance and, yes, a good dose of stupidity and obliviousness.

« I had a crush on a boy I barely know just because he has been kind to me! »,  she continued hurriedly.  « You were right, a crush can fade or turn into love... mine has faded! It has disappeared! I loved him because he looked... sounded...  _felt_ familiar. His voice, his eyes, his actions... they felt  _familiar_ . It was a sensation I had never felt before, I was naive to fall for him! ».

« Ladybug... ».

« But you... you were there for me... you have  _always_ been there for me. You've loved me, you still love me even after what I've done to you! »,  she was practically yelling now, but it wasn't important. Even if she had to wake all Paris, she wouldn't stop.  « I could  _always_ rely on you! I could  _always_ talk to you freely! I knew you would  _never_ judge me! I knew you would  _always_ support me! I thought you were  just  a friend, but I was so, so,  _so_ wrong! ».

« Ladybug, what... ».

« I love  _you_ ! I love  _you_ and I've loved  _you_ for a long time! »,  she cried, no more pinning him down but clinging onto him for dear life.  « I was so stupid! I thought love was daydreaming about a pretty kind boy I liked, and I was  _wrong_ ! ».

He just stared at her, breathlessly. Did she just said...?

« _You_ were right! Love isn't about beauty or clothes! Love is about knowledge and trust and _transparency_ , and of those I only had _trust_ with him! _You_ know me better than anyone else. _You_ can always cheer me up, or make me think, or give me hope! _You_ are the one I trust most, and I _know_ you trust me! », she continued, undeterred by his sudden stillness. « _You_ are the one I would reveal my identity first. Not _anyone_ else. Not even if _God_ himself came down from the Heavens to order me to reveal myself I would do it, not before letting _you_ know who am I! Because _you_ are _the one_! You have always been the one, but I never saw it! ».

Chat was having a seriously difficult time speaking. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but no sound ever came from it.

« I did not  _fall_ for you, there is no such thing as first sight love, and now I know it! »,  she sobbed in his chest, right where he had cut himself. If only her tears could heal his wounds... of his body and soul alike...  « Love is knowledge! I slowly approached love, passing through partnership and then friendship and  _then_ love! ».

« Ladybug... »,  he finally managed to croak, but the sound of his voice was lost in Ladybug's sobs.

« Now I'm  _sure_ . I love  _you_ for who you  _are_ . I love you for the way  _you_ love _me_ »,  she spoke between tears.  « Please. Please.  _Please_ , forgive me. Forgive me for being so stupid and blind. For being a naive teenager who chased after a crush when she had  _love_ just at her side. I won't ask you to forgive me for what I made you pass through, because I can't forgive myself, but please... ».

« My Lady? »,  he called, looking in her eyes.

The nickname made her stop and lock gazes with him. His eyes still weren't the same lively shade of green they used to be before tonight, but they weren't grey and dead any more. Something inside her healed. Her heart could begin to beat again. For him, and only for him.

« S-Say that again ».

« Chat, I'm sorry, I'm so... »,  she began, but his expression stopped her. It was the innocent frustration of someone who can't make others understand what he means.

« Not that. B-Before ».

« You were... »,  she tried again, but again she was stopped.

« No... before that. You said you... ».  He stopped, the word blocked in his throat.

She understood.

« I-I love you »,  she whispered, all her hopes in just three words. If that went wrong, there would be nothing else to do if not going home and cry.

He swallowed.  « S-Say that again ».

And she understood. In his eyes, she understood. Looking at the raw  _hope_ in his eyes that was making them spark like stars and dimmed them the second after, she understood why was he asking.

He wanted to hear her say it. No amount of times would be enough for him. After having loved her for so long, after having had his heart shattered by her, he  _needed_ to be sure before he could allow himself to feel his heart again.

«I love you».

«A-Again».

«I love you». She looked in his eyes, that were still incredulous and wide, but at least they weren't empty any more. «I love you, Chat. I love you and I love you and I love  _you_ ».

«A-Again»

« _I_ love you, I  _love_ you, I love  _you_ ,  _I love_ you, I  _love you_ ,  _I_ love  _you_ ,  _I love you_ », she said, putting all her hopes in just one look.  « I  lo ... may I kiss you? »,  she asked, her question hanging between them like the heaviest of decision.

«... yes »,  he breathed, locking his eyes with hers.

Slowly, they both leant in, never breaking eye contact. Only as their lips finally touched they closed their eyes. One of his hands went up to cup her cheek, while the other arm snaked around her waist and held -held, not pulled- her close. Her own hands settled one on his shoulder and one in his hair, slowly and gently scratching his scalp. He began -consciously or not- to purr in the kiss, something that normally would have made her laugh, but now just pleased her. The vibration was strong in normal-sized cats, but from him it was even stronger. It is said that cat's purring calms the nerves and helps relaxing. True. She finally let her muscles relax after so much tension and just  _melted_ .

For once, she was sure to be doing the right thing.

Reluctantly, she pulled back.  « Chat... would you still propose to me? »,  she asked, her voice a bit shaky but overall okay.  « N-Now? ».

He gave her a strange look of confusion mixed with hope. Slowly, he nodded, and then gulped.  « I... the rings... ».

« Here they are »,  she said immediately, holding out the two rings.  « Black opal and fire opal, with noble opals. The opal itself -every kind of opal- is a neutral stone. The key to use it and be in sync with it is balance.  We are balanced only with each other ».

He stared at her, clearly asking himself how could she have them, but instead he took the rings and made her stand, kneeling in front of her like every gentleman would do. But instead of long speeches, or even the one he had prepared for her, he just slipped the black ring on her thin finger, the red one following suit on his own hand. Then he stood and kissed her again.

Nobody noticed the recording brunette, hidden in the shadows, with a cellphone in her hand and an endeared expression on her face.

The LadyBlog's hit count was going to go mad.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed! I did. I wrote this in... 6 hours? Jeez, yeah, six hours...  
> Now I'm gonna go to bed.  
> Bye.  
> Until my next oneshot!  
> Oh, right. The HTML of this messes up every time I try to paste from LibreOffice Text. Is there any explanation? Is there any way to change it? Because every time it treats the text as code, and makes a mess with "span", "code" and lots of "style". Please help me, I have to work on the HTML for half an hour before being able to finally post it!


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